Have you ever just dreaded being alone with your own thoughts and feelings? If you have you’re not alone, I’ve been there. If you have begun your healing journey you may realize there is a lot you didn’t truly realize about yourself. The problem with this is if you don’t know you, how can you communicate your needs and desires to others. In this post, I will share my journey of building a relationship with myself and share tips to help you do the same.
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Me, Myself and I… Start a relationship with Yourself
Apart from God, you will forever be the most constant thing in your life. This makes your relationship with yourself SO valuable. So why not build a relationship with ourselves like we build relationships with others? An easy way to achieve this is to spend quality time alone at home or by taking ourselves out. This is what I like to call dating yourself. When you begin to date yourself you become wildly passionate about finding out everything you can about yourself. Start by thinking about what makes you happy and unhappy, what movies we like and dislike, and what events you actually enjoy. Then you begin to take yourself out to those place you think you’d enjoy. You take yourself out to that romantic comedy you’ve been wanting to watch. Have a date alone at your favorite restaurant. Plan an outing to a local event you find interesting. During this process, you may learn that things others liked had become things you thought you liked, but in reality, you didn’t. This is ok. Once you learn your dislikes and boundaries, respect them.
Know What You Want and Live it Out
As you build a relationship with yourself you will begin to realize what truly aligns with what you want, and what doesn’t. Once I began to spend time alone I started to realize that I didn’t actually enjoy the clubbing and bar hopping scene as much as I thought I did. I realized that I preferred nature and culturally stimulating activities. On my solo dates, I would get out in nature, visit a must-try restaurant, visit an art exhibit or watch a matinee. These were the things I truly enjoyed. It took deciding what I wanted to do alone to really know what I enjoyed.
I also began to figure out my values the more time I spent alone. My faith grew more real to me in my seasons of just focusing on myself. God was the only person I had to cry out to in my loneliest of moments. During these moments God would really push me to confront my pain, define my values and see my worth. I walked away from those quiet moments with a refreshed perspective of what was truly important to me and how I needed to grow. I would highly recommend using your moments alone to draw closer to God.
Treat You Like You Want to Be Treated
I’ve told you this in a past post, but let me remind you. You are fearfully and wonderfully made! Believe this truth and value yourself in this way. Build a relationship with yourself on a foundation of self-love, and only allow others into your life that nurture that self-love. As always, everyone’s experience with mental illness is different. But I truly believe there is hope for every unique situation. If you suffer from severe mental illness or thoughts of suicide I want to encourage you to seek help today. Find a local therapist or contact the National Suicide Lifeline by calling 1-800-273-8255 or texting “START” to 741-741.
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