Have you ever noticed that the hardest of times seems to come before the glow-up. In my last post, I shared about my transition to a new apartment and job recently, which are things I have certainly prayed for. Now more than ever, something that I have noticed is that answered prayers will always require a level of difficulty and sacrifice needed to help you grow. This difficulty has presented itself in my life as being challenged professionally and emotionally in a way that has exposed my fears and emotional weaknesses. In this post, I hope to transparently share the experiences I am currently overcoming. I will also share the truth and resources that are giving me peace and joy during this season of growth in my life.
Life is Hard & I Feel Buried
Over the last few months, it has been a season of transition. I have a new apartment, new job and new friends that have fertilized this new season of life with joy and new challenges. I have been blessed with a job that has truly challenged me professionally and emotionally. This job is extremely fast paced with high expectations, which has forced me to level up. Dealing with this change in work atmospheres has been more difficult since losing my grandmother in March 2019. My grandmother has been such an influential source in my life and my extended families lives and losing her was so unexpected. This has made facing life’s other challenges so much more emotionally taxing.
I have felt myself slowly feeling buried with anxiety, lethargy, and feelings of being overwhelmed by life. I have also seen my negative coping skills of stress eating, stress spending and venting rearing its ugly head like weeds. In this season I have had to remind myself that I have been in this place before and how God walked me through that dark place into peace. So I am striving to meditate on the truth that God is the source of my worth and peace in the midst of every challenging moment.
I am Not Buried, I am Planted
This has truly prompted me to get back on the journey of abiding in Christ by reading my Bible more consistently. So now I am finishing up my 90 day Bible reading plan, which I started last Summer but fell behind on and stopped reading in September. When doing my reading there was a verse that truly spoke to me and blessed me with wisdom, John 12:24. In this verse, it talks about how a grain of wheat will never be more than it is now unless it is broken off and placed into the ground in order to grow. In this season of life, I can truly relate to a grain of wheat. I have been snatched from my comfort zone and buried in a cold uncomfortable place. This place feels dark, cold and unfair. This place has made me begin to feel depressed, and if I did not realize I was planted and not buried I would continue to feel this way. However, similar to the grain of wheat I know God has a plan to help me grow into more than I used to be by planting me in this new season of life. I am almost certain that He also has a plan to help you grow.
“Let me make this clear: A single grain of wheat will never be more than a single grain of wheat unless it drops into the ground and dies. Because then it sprouts and produces a great harvest of wheat—all because one grain died. John 12:24 (The Passion Translation)”
Find What You Need to Help You Grow
So be honest with me sis, what is making you feel buried lately. Is it a familial loss, unanswered prayers, dramatic relationships or a difficult job? No matter what it is I challenge you to look at with the perspective of being planted, not buried. I challenge you to serve God well where he has placed you, because where he has placed you is he will be there with you orchestrating his purpose. In order to do this you will need to cling to the things that will help you grow during this long, dark and unknown season of growth. For me slowly getting back into my routines, quality time with my family and memorable moments with amazing friends are what I am clinging to. More importantly, I am clinging to my relationship with God through prayer, Christian radio and reading my Bible. All these things give me the strength to grow under any conditions thrown at me.
As always, this is only my personal experience and what currently works best for me. However, I truly believe there are resources out there that can help you to grow in whatever difficult season you are experiencing. Help others find what works for them by sharing what works for you in the comments below. If you are experiencing mental health issues that you feel are more than you can bear alone please find a therapist or call the suicide hotline at 1-800-273-8255. Until next time, I pray you will let this season grow you rather than wipe you out.
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