Depression can exist in your life without anyone knowing. You go to work or school and who you present yourself to be is who people come to accept; whether happy go lucky, emo, somber or quiet, others see you for that person. No one sees the pain that lies beneath the mask of your survival face, and when someone say’s “Hi how are you?” as they walk away not really waiting for a response we are almost glad because if we really responded most people would RUN! Mind you there are several levels of depression; According to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, there are two main categories of depression-major depressive disorder and persistent depressive disorder-and a grouping of other, less common types. There are also a number of other mood disorders that can cause depression symptoms. Without getting into the specifics let me just say DEPRESSION IS REAL. It is not sadness that goes away after a while, no it stays with you, looming over you like a shadowy monster trying to devour you and if you are not mindful of your feelings it can.
I know all too well about depression first hand, because I live with Major Depressive Disorder and PTSD. Thankfully I am no longer controlled by my depression, because I know my signs and symptoms and deal with them head on through: meditation, opening up to a friend with similar diagnosis and my depression’s number one kryptonite, exercise. Prior to discovering these self- help remedies I would find myself feeling irritable all the time, low energy, not enjoying anything, I just wanted to stay in my room and watch tv or read and not be bothered by anyone, not even people I love. The energy to express love or socialize was too much and seriously I needed that energy for work or for when I was outside and forced to be social I needed that energy for my survival mask.
There are so many triggers to depression and I find myself fighting these little buggers all the time. During the warmer months I get outside and socialize more, lie in the grass and soak up the sun, go the beach or any large body of water: a lake, a river a stream and I meditate, but regardless of my best efforts depression gets the best of me and sometimes I just give in. There are so many triggers that can sabotage your best efforts to fight depression and for me one of my biggest trigger is disappointment. Disappointment feeds my depression and if I allow it to, it can ruminate and linger in my head as I go over all the things I may have done to contribute to being disappointed.
Once I immediately identify that I am disappointed by my expectations not being met, I simply label my feeling as sadness, which is a normal reaction to being disappointed. Then I immediately do positive self-talk, talk through my feelings with a friend, or go run or walk it off so I can feel better in a few days rather than allowing the sadness to manifest into depression. Depression is a monster that grows when fed negativity, but shrinks and becomes powerless when fed positive thoughts and positive experiences. NO FEEDING THE MONSTER! Be Kind, Think Positive, Be grateful.
If you enjoyed my story, check out Brittani’s Story also.
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