There was a time when for weeks I hate getting out of bed to work because I was so depressed, even though I am well rested physically but my mind was tired. I felt fatigued and just wanted to lie in the bed with the covers pulled over my head and sleep. Unfortunately, I am not financially able to lie around and sleep my life away. No matter how fatigued I feel, no matter how depressed I am I have to go to work. I get up drag myself to the shower and prepare for my day. For most of the morning, I hide in my office, I keep my door closed as much as possible and limit my people interaction to only what is necessary. Depression at work is real and I will share an experience with this blog.
Signs of Depression at Work
I sing to motivate myself while getting ready for work, however. I still don’t want to leave the house. “Good morning Nikki, how goes it?” says a coworker smiling at me, I smile back and say “Not a thing”. No one knows I’d rather be in bed, no one knows I don’t want to be here. They don’t see the signs of depression at work. When I get to my office, I plop down in my chair because my handbag feels like a ton of bricks. My arms are heavy and I am feeling extremely fatigued. My burden is heavy and I drop my weight onto my chair and put my head down on my desk, thank God I have a door which is closed. It’s early, 6:30 am, at least two hours before I see humans and I relish in my solitude and the quiet. I am feeling irritable and I don’t really want to speak to anyone. It’s eight o’clock and someone comes in my office so I smile and say ” Good morning. Come in, How may I help you?”
Quit Workplace Faking
There have been times I think people at work don’t give a damn. Just get the work done, and keep it moving. “Ain’t nobody got time for that”! Thus workplace faking has become a necessary part of blending in. I interact with countless persons daily. I smile and chit chat and act as though my life is perfect. Honestly, my life is great. I have nothing presently that should make me feel this depressed, but I am. Workplace faking allows me to hide my feelings of depression at work. So no one ever recognizes that I am depressed. However, it creates emotional isolation at work.
Workplace faking, I hide my feelings at work, and no one recognizes that I am depressed Click To Tweet
I remember when my coworker committed suicide. My coworker and I talked about current events, shared a laugh and on Monday my coworker was found dead with a note. The suicide bothered me for years. I always wondered if there was anything I could have done to help.
Share Your REAL Feelings at Work
People can’t read your mind; they only see what you show them. Let someone at work know about your depression. It’s ok to get help. If you are sad, say it, if you feel suicidal say it, just say it. “How are you?” “I literally feel like dying”. Say it, you don’t have to endure it alone.
People can’t read your mind; they only see what you show them. Click To Tweet
At times we hold things in because of pride, and because it appears no one cares. I used to feel like this before I saw a therapist. Since then I’ve implemented exercise, meditation, eating better and sharing my depression with my family. People hustling about their daily lives appear not to care. The truth is more people care than people who don’t, but you have to give someone the opportunity to help you and love you and care about you. If you feel depressed, please go get help. You are irreplaceable, one of a kind, a true jewel.
You are irreplaceable, one of a kind, a true jewel. Click To Tweet
Find a local therapist or contact the National Suicide Lifeline by calling 1-800-273-8255
Meet the Author
Adenike is a 46-year-old Jamaican immigrant and a devoted single mother of one, whom she raised with a village in the absence of the father whom long aborted his responsibilities. She holds a Masters in Licensed Clinical Social Work, Bachelors in Social Work, Masters in Non-Profit & Association Management and a Licensed Practical Nursing degree. From the outside, you wouldn’t know that behind the many accomplishments are experiences of trauma, PTSD and depression. Her experiences have uniquely shaped her and she has learned to appreciate each and every part of who she is and her journey. Now she wants to inspire you to do the same!
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