Hey sis, it’s been a while since we’ve talked about relationships. In the past we have talked about the impact depression can have on dating. Depression can cause us to lower our standards and rush into unhealthy relationships. Once in a relationship, anxiety can make maintaining a healthy relationship difficult. I have experienced the challenges of overcoming anxiety in a relationship and helped friends do the same. Continue reading for some of the best advice for coping with anxiety in a relationship.
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Coping with Anxiety in a Relationship
The anxious mind is often filled with worry, automatic negative thoughts, and catastrophization. These constant high-stress thoughts and feelings can ruin relationships. These emotions can cause snapping at your partner, believing the worst of your partner, or being clinging out of fear of losing your partner. To have a healthy thriving relationship it is important to realize that these emotional reactions are rooted in past trauma. To control these emotions you must understand your trauma and what situations or behaviors remind you of that trauma. These reminders are called triggers. For me, disappointment and feeling controlled are some of my triggers in a relationship. It has taken lots of therapy and self-reflection to understand my triggers.
My top tips for coping with anxiety in a relationship are communication, alone time, and positive support. These three things seem simple, but they take practice. Practicing these habits are pivotal to maintaining a healthy relationship when coping with anxiety.
Communicate About Your Triggers
Once you know your triggers, it is important to learn how to communicate them to your partner. When you notice you are feeling triggered by situations or behaviors let your partner know. This is an opportunity to bond with your partner. Opening up allows your partner to understand your past experiences and learn how to best support you. Communication is the key to coping with anxiety in a relationship. If your partner uses this information against you or purposely triggers you this is not ok. If you notice your partner doing this, don’t be afraid to end the relationship. You deserve to be accepted and supported.
Spend Time Alone, and Give Your Partner Space
Sometimes anxiety can create fear of losing your partner. This fear can make you anxious about what your partner is doing when they are not with you. Unfortunately, this can make your partner feel as if you do not trust them or allow them to have their own space. It is important to challenge these fears by giving your partner space and trust. Trust your partner to have time alone, with friends or with hobbies. Give your partner space by having activities that you can enjoy alone. Plan dinner with your friends, have alone time reading a book or do train for a 5k. No matter what it is, spending time alone can deepen the time you spend together with your partner. However, if you have genuine reasons not to trust your partner it may be a sign that you are in an unhealthy relationship.
Find Positive Support
Relationships will have ups and downs, and it is important to have positive support along the way. A positive support system is important for coping with anxiety in a relationship. This type of support includes friends, family or a therapist that understands your triggers and fears. These people do not make your fears worse by instigating. Positive support helps you to cope with triggers and better communicate with your partner. If you are struggling with triggers in your relationship your support system can help you process those feelings. This can then help you to better communicate with your partner. So before you go off on your partner rely on your support system.
Enjoy a Happy & Healthy Relationship
Coping with anxiety in a relationship can be difficult. However, don’t let that stop you from having a happy and healthy relationship. Understand your triggers and communicate this with your partner. Deepen your relationship by creating space for you and your partner to do things you enjoy. Also, remember to confide in positive support. If you suffer from severe anxiety or mental illness I want to encourage you to seek help today. Find a local therapist or contact the National Suicide Lifeline by calling 1-800-273-8255 or texting “START” to 741-741. A trained therapist can provide you with a diagnosis and help you develop an appropriate treatment plan.
Before you leave, please don’t forget to comment below. Sharing your experience and what works for you may help others find a solution that works for them. Also, please share this post because you never know who in your circle may be struggling and may need to read this post for encouragement.
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